I wanted to tell both of my New York dates about my challenge but my coaches mostly agreed that it wouldn’t make a difference. “Why ruin a possibly good experience with the news if you might never see this guy again?” Said one of my coaches. Note to self: “Less is more” and “selective sharing” seem to be common pieces of advice I’ve been getting from not just my coaches, but guys in general. Ironic, considering I’m sharing intimate details about my love life with the world…
So I don’t tell my dates about the challenge, but I have to be clear with them about the fact that NYC is not my permanent residence. They both take it well, that’s the thing about New Yorkers, they seem to have the whole speed dating thing down to a science. “Why go out with someone again if there’s no chemistry?” They thrive on the keep it moving mentality. This can be a very productive, albeit a bit cold, way of living.
Monday October 27th – The Date
My date works in midtown so we agree to meet in SoHo, for a mutually accessible point. My sister and I decide to walk the Brooklyn bridge in the early afternoon, and arrive at City Hall with an hour to spare before my date. What to do? As we walk through the streets behind Pace University we pass a tiny little store with no obvious name. A dress in the window display peeks my interest so we walk inside. The clothes are fantastic, unique pieces at reasonable prices. We have to try them on! Almost 45 minutes later I rush to the register so I can pay for my new acquisitions and leave the bags with my sister. It’s a fair trade, she gets to carry my shopping bag home so I can go on my date, and I’ll buy the pizza for dinner, on my way home.
I rush to the subway and one stop later I’m on Canal street. I walk down, or up, a few blocks until I turn into this desolate little side street. I secretly pray I’m in the right place as I walk down to the restaurant. The sign only says the address: “9 Crosby Street,” this must be it then. There’s a beautiful patio out front, but the real beauty is indoors. I walk through the main door into the restaurant which looks more like a glamorous greenhouse. Twinkling giant chandeliers hang from the ceiling and candles line the stairs down into the main floor. It’s beautiful, just my style.
I meet my date at the bar and we decide to get a table so we can talk more comfortably. We jump into an easy conversation about work, life in New York and dating. He’s originally from India and has been working and living in the NYC area for almost five years. A world traveler as well, he tells me he’s been to about six countries already in one year. “So not to sound stereotypical, but have your parents tried to set you up with anyone?” I ask. “Yes,” he replies with a laugh, “but I don’t think I want to get married.” That’s a nice piece of honest information on the first date. “And why is that?” I ask.
He tells me that he doesn’t want to have kids, and that most people who get married expect to have kids. “I love to travel, and I just don’t see how I could possibly keep doing that if I have kids,” he says. This piece of information intrigues me, and so we continue our discussion a little further until something distracts us, and we wind up spending thirty minutes talking about Game of Thrones. Totally geeky and maybe a weird topic for a first date, but he’s read the books and I have so many questions!
We wrap things up after a cocktail and walk to the subway together. We say goodbye and split at the uptown/downtown sign. “Keep in touch!” he tells me. “Will do!” I reply. And I mean it, even though I didn’t feel any chemistry with him or the New to New York guy I think both of them are great guys. Besides, one can never have too many friends right?