Business calls my sister and I to NYC on the last weekend of my challenge. I’m hesitant to take this show on the road because, for as much time as I’ve spent there, I have never really tested the dating pool in NYC. “What do you have to lose?” she asks, “Four days and four dates to be exact,” I answer. “So you don’t think you could find a single date in the entire NYC area?” She asks smart-assedly. Oh no she didn’t! Challenge accepted!
And so, we arrive in the big apple, ready to conquer. The swiping commences shortly after we land, no time to waste. I narrow it down to a 10-mile radius because let’s face it, I’m not going to spend more than an hour on the subway just to meet a guy who may or may not turn out to be a dickhead, a creep, married, a narcissist, gay, completely devoid of a personality or look nothing like his pictures.
I connect with some good candidates who seem to have a career and a good sense of humor. Shortly after my matches come through, I get a message from a David: “So you look good,” “Thanks,” I reply. “What do you like in a guy?” he asks. I write back with some of the qualities I find necessary. “I can relate to that,” he says “I also like a woman who’s fit and well groomed,” is his last message back to me, before I block him. Really David?! On the first chat? WOW.
An hour and a subway ride later I get a message from a cute thirty-something new to New York guy. He’s originally from SoCal and looking to make new friends. He seems genuine in his messages and we seem to have a few things in common, so we agree to meet for drinks the next night.
Saturday October 25th – The Date
We meet in the upper west side, or as he likes to call it: “UWS”. As soon as I emerge from the subway I feel enchanted. It happens to me every time I’m in New York, I fall in love all over again. She’s so magnetic with her culture, shiny lights and beautiful landscape. She’s intriguing and so attractive that you want to take her back with you inside your suitcase. She’s everything Sinatra wrote about, and nothing like you see in the movies. She’s too classy for that, and way better in person, you can’t reduce her to a flat screen. She’s like a lover who you run off to as often as she’ll let you, because deep down you know she will never settle for a chump like you.
SoCal guy meets me across from the Lincoln Center. We greet enthusiastically, probably because we’re both joyful to be in New York on a beautiful October fall night. The weather is so comfortable that my date takes me to the rooftop at The Empire Hotel. The view from up there is fantastic. I purposely pick the side that faces the Lincoln Center so we can watch people while they come and go. They all look amazing, because the other thing I love about New York, is that people take pride in the way they represent themselves, how they dress. Maybe it has a lot to do with fashion, but it’s also about looking and feeling your best, no matter where you’re going.
We order our drinks and talk about his job, he recently got transferred here. He also tells me a little bit about his childhood. He’s originally from Iran, but grew up in SoCal, which is obvious by his chill “SoCal vibe”. After our first drink we both get hungry so we head down to a French restaurant nearby. In true NYC fashion we’re scrunched in-between two other tables who can definitely hear our conversation.
We talk about dating, and whether or not it’s appropriate to follow up after a first date. “If you’re not interested after the first date, why waste your time by communicating with that person again?” He asks. He has a point, there’s no time to waste, especially when you’re trying to squeeze in 30 dates in 30 nights! His honesty is refreshing and enlightening. “Well, I went out with this guy the other night, and the date was not good, but I made the mistake of telling him maybe we could hang out again,” I say. “So he text me once or twice and I honestly didn’t know what to reply, so I didn’t. But then today he sent me an angry message telling me I was a coward and lied to his face.” My date looks at me amused. “And how did you respond?” he asks. “I told him he was right, that I was a coward for not being upfront and I apologized.” SoCal guy laughs at my response. “Why would you waste any time apologizing to a man you will never see again?” He asks, “It was ONE date, you can’t take what someone says on or after a first date to heart! And if he didn’t notice you two had a lame date, then he’s obviously way too self-centered.”
I guess I had never thought about things this way. But my date is right, Just because you go out with a person one time doesn’t mean you have to go out with them again. Now, to be fair, I probably shouldn’t tell someone “We should hang out again”, if I don’t mean it. I think I’m learning my lesson now…
We end our night with a walk around Lincoln Center. When we reach the subway stop he tells me: “Keep in touch… and I mean it!” Glad he cleared that up!