{Date 23} The Boring Cultured Guy

We meet at my favorite sushi place for a quick bite before heading to the bookstore, his favorite place. Based on our tinder chats he seems like an educated, genuine guy. I’m actually thinking he might be a contender. Plus he reads! It’s hard to find people, other than myself, who actually read in this crazy lifetime. I have high hopes for him! But as our date begins I quickly realize we’re not on the same page, no pun intended.

He tells me he lives in NYC most of the time, but has a place here for when he’s not working. He’s a sound engineer for musical tours. His job sounds exciting, so I assume he’s a fun/artistic/easy-going person, but I’m wrong. Nothing on the menu is to his satisfaction. “I’m very picky about my sushi,” he tells me. I order the Philly roll, which is a ridiculous order, I know, but I like it and I don’t care! “Putting cheese on sushi is unacceptable,” he tells me in a very judgmental tone. “Is it?” I ask, while I shove another piece in my mouth.

I can’t get comfortable, and I don’t feel like I can be myself around him. He asks me if I drink. “I like wine and the occasional beer or cocktail,” I say. Dead silence follows, he takes another bite of his salmon. “I enjoy red wine once in a while,” he replies in a way that makes me feel he thinks I’m an alcoholic. “Red wine is good,” I say… “goes perfectly with your dry personality,” I think to myself.

“Let’s go to the bookstore, we can get something to drink at the coffee shop and look around,” I tell him. Maybe once I get some coffee in him, he’ll warm up a little. We walk around the bookstore while we sip on our drinks. He points at books he likes, and I point at the ones I like… but there’s nothing to fill the silent gaps in-between. “Do you like John Grisham’s books, I ask? “I don’t like reading fiction, it’s a waste of time,” he replies. “No, this date is a waste of time!” I want to scream a him.

“I’m gonna go check out the nature section,” he tells me. “Take your time,” I reply. Thank God, now I can see what’s new in the fiction section! After perusing the latest teen fiction reads, I move to the style section, and then the food and cooking section. My alarm goes off at 9:30 reminding me it’s time to unwind for the day, yes I need reminders for that!

I walk down to the nature section to find my date. “I think it’s time for me to go home, I have a long day tomorrow,” I tell him. “Ok, I’ll walk with you,” he says. I wait next to the register while he pays for his book and we walk out together. “It was nice meeting you,” I tell him. “Let me know when you’re in town next time and maybe we can hang out,” I’m lying through my teeth. I don’t want to see this man again, we have NOTHING in common! Why did I just say that? “I’m actually going to be in town for at least a month,” he replies. Shit, now he thinks I actually want to see him again. The flight sense kicks in and I literally rush to my car door so I can run away from this situation. “Oh, nice… well ummm… I’ll talk to you later!” I get in, lock the door and almost run over the curb trying to drive away.


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