“Order an old fashioned!” Tony writes back, when I ask for his thoughts on this date. “It will impress him.”
Wednesday October 15th – 15 more dates to go!
Interesting thought Tony… Ordering something I wouldn’t normally order, simply to impress someone is definitely “cool girl behavior”, and goes against the very title of this blog. Which is why I’m totally going to do it, just to prove this point!
He’s sitting at the bar drinking a beer and looks about 20 pounds heavier than his profile pictures. “Of course!” I whisper to myself. He doesn’t look happy to be there, and has this “cool guy” attitude about everything. Maybe he’s also disappointed with what his date looks like in person… “Yeah, I don’t really care for the service here,” he says in his “cool guy” nonchalant voice. “This should be a quick drink,” I think to myself…
As planned, I order the Old Fashioned. And as Tony predicted it, my date looks at me like he’s going to explode with joy inside his pants. Good God, even the bartender looks at me like he wants to french me when I reveal my drink selection! It takes one swig for me to realize Don Draper makes this drink seem a lot sexier than it really is. When it comes to whiskey, I’ll take mine with coke please! I secretly curse my friend Tony with every sip I take. However, the satisfaction I get from proving that dumb “cool girl” behavior turns oblivious guys on, is enough to make me laugh inside… These two dumbjacks think I’m hot because I drink Old Fashioneds, and have somehow realized one of their many irrational fantasies about women.
I notice there’s a man sitting alone at the bar directly behind my date, who keeps looking over at me every time I answer a question. I would normally be creeped out by this, but he seems entertained and I’m amused at the possibility of being on a double date. Every time my date says something stupid or “cool guy like”, weird lonely guy behind him smiles and looks at me… I almost feel a sort of camaraderie between me and lonely guy, like we have an understanding about how lame my date is.
“I was a bartender all throughout college, and after I graduated I decided to stay and run the bar,” he tells me. “So it’s like you never left college,” I say. (which explains a lot about him). I try to look at him when he talks, but when I get a whiff of his “smokers” breath I turn my head. Why do people smoke cigarettes? Really, someone please explain the attraction here. They’re disgusting, they make your teeth rot, and give you cancer. What is sexy about that? I feel like I’m writing an infomercial. Also, they make your date want to throw up every time you talk.
I drink half of the Old Fashioned, just because I don’t want to be rude of wasteful, and I wrap things up with the old trusty line: “Oh, jeez, it’s almost 10:00, I have to get up early!” I thank him for meeting me and for the drink, he hugs me and I walk off before he can ask for a second date… I really need to practice the art of properly ending a date without insulting the guy, if I don’t want to see him again. But what is the polite way to say: “Thanks for the drink, but I’m not attracted to you, and I don’t see myself hanging out with you again”?